revenge, love & the correct use of a portaloo

LOVE: love is fickle, at times beautiful & drunk, heres a few thangs Me learnts:
1. Locking the object of ones affections in a portaloo and threatening them u'll tip it over if they dont be ur friend doesnt work, I tried this with Heath Ledgers sister Amy once, to this day she calls me weirdo. THE CORRECT USE OF A PORTALOO: Gibbo has this down pat, the same day Me Lock-ed Amy in the loo, Gibbo pushed a portaloo over while the guy from Violet femmes was taking shit, he was coated in feces, sperm, urine and dirty needles, Gibbo (not his real name (DUH!)) went on to rock out this festival to early in the day , for a redneck bluegrass band....
 Revenge: Revenge or Vengence, Hell, even a good old fashioned Vendetta, its pretty fuckin sweet.
The portaloo (or portapotty as we calls it in Amerikkka) is a great invention, sadly they didnt have them at Mondo Cane in the park, or we probably wouldve pushed it over whilst Joe was doing wotever perversion that the tight ass  , who ripped me off over a bottle of cheap cats piss wine, was doin in the portaloo. Ill get him back....
RELIGION: I have had religious experiences, Jesse always used to tell me,the true religion: it was a mixture of Satanism, Zen Buddhism and the belief Jesse was the son of god sent to earth to die for my sins and rise from the grave to roll up a spliff of the lords finest Orange Kush, kinda fucked with my head after a while, but it was better than the christian dogma my faggot foster dad spewed all day and night, faggot or not, he was a BORE , a white trash bore, with more AVO's than a womans refuge.
MUSIK:  Music rocks, I love country music (not hillbilly) , metal, folk, psycedelia, musicals, music is god, music cheers me up, We used to sing whilst we toiled in the fields, gospel, irish nationalist songs, most music is good, as a musican, the enemy of all good live acts is the horrid infliction: THE BOGAN.... Bogans hate teenyboppers, i hate teenyboppers with no taste, Bogans are stupid, they rag on Teenyboppers for wearing band t-shirts, fuck them, they support a band, good for them, money in the bank.... Thanks for yer Time xox Donkey Cock

wot would aristotle do?

Gettin drunk, i dont have time to think, as ive reiterated constantly, thinking is pedestrian, all those monkey majic motherfuckers, who tell us we create with thought, never met my english teacher, she could read (a bit) she gave me points for origianlity, banahl cynisiscm, all the good shit a semi- nihilistic narcisist would need, then about five months from the end of year exams, Im fuck-ed u-p, some bitch steals (borrows i dunno) my creative writing and woop-di-fukn-do gets  scholarship with it, the autistic lolita type scab, dejected and suffering from intense migranes i throw the rest of my notes in a muddy puddle, cos my ex was being stalked by some douche who took credit for all my hard work, love letters, mix tapes, with no intent to let the communist ( iwas pretty paranoid) jewish liberal lesbian bitches win , I wrecked all the chances I had for redemption and oral sex, any way here I am a PHD in surgery, music and law (from the university of california) Im a semi literate, bordoline psycotic , labourer with an axe to grind with the english department of my old high school, I live in turkey, a town called cunt (with two litlle dots above the U, Classy!) , my town is full of c*nts, poor, some ugly, some weird, some tasty, but all of them : 'C*NTS'd , anyway, far from me , the classic over acheiving generation Y baby boomer doobious funkateer to out think u, Im on the mend, Im wary of faggots ( my old therapist was a poof) I brush my teeth, i dont smoke reefer, I even drink less than U , I had a breakdown after Uni, (they happen every now n then, mostly after the death of a loved one) so Im back in a trailer in cunt, sometimes i wake up screaming cos i dreamt ive been probed by aliens, it sounds cool, but it blows goats. Thats all, my two bob, my spleen vented, im gunna eat pringles & listen to king tubby. peace Y'all XXox DoNkeY CocK!

December sux

I know it aint december yet, however i haves a gripe (surprise!) all my neices and nefews is born or gunnaa be born in december, as if presents werent styngy enuff @ that time-o-year, I had a dream; I woke cursing my brother and sista (U BASTARDS!) flamin sagitarians, dont get me wrong, love is the best birfday present and christmas is ment 2 b abouts givin... give me a freakin break, nyways they is just lucky i get great presents via fan mail or id be way more pissed off, I wonder if my understudy/double gets presents on my birthday? really makes me almost think, but negator, i dont think, people who think have too much time on their hands , neon orgasms & everpresent degradation awaits me come december..... BAH HUMBUG!

dinosaur rock n dope fiends

they shit me, rock stars, satirists piss me off more, alligory and hyperbole have a place in popular culture, just in small doses. anyways me and u have alot in common dear reader, we're both human (some would argue subhuman) and the humanist outlook in reference to satire negates a whole quadrant of underated acts, both mytholojikal and real. take donkey cock for example, he's been in a shit load of bands: nearly all just solo acts but these names are gnarly: Pihranalingus (a semi riot goy act) atomik Vadgee (similar yet worse), cannibal chikens and the wasabi dildo's (a weenish band) , Soulfista ( a rare country rock/pisstake act) Soulfista was a spontaneous rock n roll fluke, badness was tuning joinseys geet to a very complex tuning, Joinsey was getting drunk and the band was ready to go, so Badness starts jamming, the aucostic geet man wasnt havin a 'nigger' on  stage with him, cue rascist outburst ( badness finds it funny cos he aint black and is mostly irish) , the crowd roars as the rock from badnessz geet drowns out the pussy hillbillys crappy ballad, some drunk yobbo screams "shut up and get off stage", so badness freestyles a song called :' shut up n get off stage", Uncle Bloodnut jumps up and smiles his rat with a gold tooth smile, "soulfista" is borne.... they played about 2 or 3 shows, witha whole buncha fakers, some try to mime to d.c.'s geet,, some have crappy reasons for banning chord structures and techniques, so it fails (for now) another example of dinosaur rock, damnation awaits but we dont care, as long as we get a limo and our oranj hair.....